Metro Area News
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by Eric Bourland This page is a parody of real news and is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. Text of this page ("Metro Area News") copyright © 1999 – 2008 by Eric Bourland. All rights reserved. The content of this page is a public resource and may be distributed freely if unchanged and credited to the author. Thanks. |  | | |
Area 14-year-old doesn't have the sense god gave a garbanzo beanSILVER SPRING MD — Area resident Melissa Hendricks, 14, doesn't have the sense god gave a garbanzo bean, according to her mother, Holly Hendricks, 41. The elder Hendricks cited several recent events to illustrate her argument that Melissa's sense is lesser than that apportioned, by the Supreme Deity, to a garbanzo bean. "Yesterday I asked her to take out the trash, and she tried to drag this overstuffed garbage bag with a hole in the bottom across the kitchen floor," said Mrs. Hendricks. "There was a trail of garbage across the kitchen. And then she wanted to brush the dog, so she took my hairbrush and went to work. I threw a fit when I found dog hair in my hairbrush. I tell you, that girl does not have the sense god gave a garbanzo bean." |